Sunday, 28 February 2016

Day 19, Roll with it. Forty Days Of Patience (and other good stuff).

Well, here we are. Day nineteen. This morning I had a cracking lie in then we went to Church for Mass and the first Scrutiny.
It was a pretty mad one as the Church is being refurbished so it's in a place just round the corner. It was nice all the same. Our group had to stand at the front and whilst the awkwardness of not knowing where the blimmin heck to stand lingered for a few minutes, it was a pretty overwhelming experience. We got a round of applause from the remaining congregation and I was welling up on and off for the rest of the service. The bit were the kids come out always kills me. I'm used to the little ones sending their messages to Jesus about how they will behave in the coming week and things they pray for their friends and family, but these guys stood up and did a bit of a song. Lovely, again, I welled up!
When we got home we had a full English then unfortunately I fell asleep for the majority of the day! I'm really going to have to look at my diet you know. Well, it's not that I eat loads of crap, but whenever I have a big meal it just drains all my energy and I have to snooze lol.

Tomorrow is the official start of my holiday, good times. Yet I learnt this morning that there is now no-one available to cover me. I'm a tad torn. Yesterday's post, if you'll remember was unwritten as I was having an off day, but the jist was that I'd realised that my main frustrations throughout all areas of my life are unexpected things that mess with my plans and timeline.
Yesterday's outburst was caused by the fact I needed to get a urine sample from Geoff, feed the kits, empty the litter tray and make a brew all at the same time. Now I almost managed it (although I was a bit pissed that my boyfriend didn't make that brew) but I miscalculated Geoff's weeing time, what a crazy sentence, and he finished before I had chance to move him and get the sample.

Now, I have two options here. Go into work and back burn all my plans for the coming week (some of which are date sensitive, however) or stay at home with the slight niggle of what I'm going to be walking into when I get back.
I'll be honest, I wish I wasn't privy to this information and maybe something could have just been sorted without me even knowing. But now I know, maybe it's some sort of test. One to which I don't know the answer.
Or maybe I do? I get sooo stressed when something happens out of the blue, like it's my fault that I hadn't thought of this random unexpected thing. I really do beat myself up about these things. But (cheese alert) that's life! Shit happens, roll with it. In truth, this scenario crossed my mind on Thursday, I've already done all I can to resolve it from my end and now I have to remain resolute and just go with it. The world will not fall if I take my eye off it right? Maybe this is a test, but not in an obvious way, my first instinct is to go in, to be of service. That's the easy choice, but the true test for me personally is giving up control, or the sense of it at least.

I feel bad but lighter, a tough choice. So here's a little Dumbledore quote to make us all feel better;

Dark times lie ahead of us and there will be a time when we must choose between what is easy and what is right.

Rating ~ Hmmmm

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