I woke up still feeling really bad about my generally shitty mood and attitude yesterday and promised myself that it would never happen again (yeah, right). No I didn't promise that as that would be a lie, both to you reading this and to my future self.
What I can promise is that I will give my best shot at keeping my head. Nothing is ever that important right? How can being an absolute shit to someone and really hurting their feelings be of any benefit to any person or any situation? You know, as I type this now, I am still feeling a bit emotional about the whole thing.
On the way into work I got the recipient of yesterday's rage some 'I'm sorry' appeasements in the form of drinks & fancy little cakes, plus a card. I can never change yesterday but I can certainly apologise for it. So apologise I did, and luckily it was really well received, the strength of that woman knocks me for six sometimes. She is 100% all of the things we talked about on day one, all of the time. I have never seen her slip once and know this, there has been plenty of reasons (and not all from me!) I am pretty sure that yesterday was going to happen no matter what, in fact she even told me that herself as we were getting into our cars to drive home.
I can see now that it had to happen, and everything leading up to yesterday had to happen the way it did in order for me to hit that low, because there's only one way you can go when you've hit rock bottom, right?
Here's another little Corrie ten Boom gem for you;
Every experience God gives us, every person he puts in our lives is the perfect preparation for the future that only he can see.
For me to have this 'revelation' certain circumstances were necessary, one of which was my other amazing work pal being out of the picture.
Unfortunately, she's a bit of a work horse so it would have indisputably taken an act of God for her to disappear at the right time . So what happened? In short, pleurisy, pneumonia and subsequently, wait for it, a broken rib. Did I do that? Well, I think I'm part of it, but not the centre. I'm a splinter of an outcome and if you're reading this and it has affected you in any way, then you're part of it too (so you'd better forward a get well card!)
I got a phonecall from my colleague today and thankfully she's on the mend now which is fantastic news, we were on the phone for a good while and were laughing and joking which is a superb improvement as last week she was struggling for breath and pretty close to death's door!
I could sum up for you but I sincerely hope you've got the gist as much as I have today. Please put my little work horse into your prayers along with everyone else who is suffering for the moment as part of God's plan.
Rating ~ Got the base down